April Fool’s Day Cancelled, Citing Coronavirus Concerns
APRIL 1, 2020—HOBOKEN, NEW JERSEY
Out of an abundance of caution, hMAG has made the difficult decision to cancel its annual April Fool’s Day article, citing concerns about the Coronavirus.
“We’re pretty bummed,” said Writer/Publisher Christopher M. Halleron. “We’ve been doing this for 10 years now, and it’s become sort of a tradition. Each year we try to out-do ourselves with inane, esoteric references in moderately amusing articles that ultimately manage to alienate more and more of our readership.”
This year, however, the article has been suspended indefinitely—until it’s once again deemed safe and appropriate to intentionally publish false news articles for the purposes of a few cheap laughs and clicks.
“We had a couple doozies planned this year,” said Halleron. “We were gonna go with ‘NORTHWEST ACTION PARK: Mayor Bhalla Hopes to Balance Budget by Converting Former Industrial Site Into Cutting-Edge Flood-Mitigation Water Park’. We were also toying with ‘Governor Murphy Celebrates Possible Marijuana Reform by Giving State Entire Month of April Off for 4/20.'”
Media outlets worldwide have traditionally used the April Fool’s Day trope to showcase what they consider to be satirical creativity—and sucker a few readers into believing, liking, and sharing stories that are patently untrue.
“Honestly, we watch enough people spread complete and utter bull$#!+ via the internet on a daily basis,” said Halleron. “It’s not even fun anymore.”
As for lampooning politicians, Halleron says, “It’s too goddamn easy. They’ve taken the fun out of it,” adding, “There’s not a lot we can make up anymore that they’re not already doing to themselves. They’re stepping right into our punches.”
Meanwhile, in the midst of an unprecedented global health crisis—one that an alarming number of people from a variety of walks of life initially saw and perhaps still see as a “hoax”—the idea of perpetuating false news for entertainment purposes rings a bit hollow this year.
“We’re hoping we can find some sort of make-up date,” said Halleron. “Tuesday, November 3rd looks pretty promising. We’ll see how it goes.”
In the meantime, please check out our April Fool’s Day Archive.
We still think we’re funny…